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<title>Trust Issues Turn Every Human Interaction Into a High-Stakes Game of Poker by Official_Biscuit_Moron</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160038">Trust Issues Turn Every Human Interaction Into a High-Stakes Game of Poker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Official_Biscuit_Moron/pseuds/Official_Biscuit_Moron'>Official_Biscuit_Moron</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Yorozuya Family, a day in the life, gintoki's depressingly skillful concealment of any and all bad feelings, insidious angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:09:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Official_Biscuit_Moron/pseuds/Official_Biscuit_Moron</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aren’t tears just water? he asks himself. Do they have to come with an emotion? Maybe I just drank too much strawberry milk yesterday. Maybe I’m so nervous for the job we’ve got this morning that the sweat is coming out of my eyes. Maybe.. Maybe I’m actually laughing inside, at something really damn funny, and that’s why this is happening.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>Aka Gintoki competes in the Repression Olympics. He'll probably win the silver medal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kagura &amp; Sakata Gintoki, Kagura &amp; Sakata Gintoki &amp; Shimura Shinpachi, Kagura &amp; Shimura Shinpachi, Sakata Gintoki &amp; Shimura Shinpachi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trust Issues Turn Every Human Interaction Into a High-Stakes Game of Poker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stepping out of the shower, vigorously ruffling his hair dry with a towel, Gintoki catches a glimpse of his reflection in the steamy mirror – he stops for a moment, leaning in, grimacing at the way his hair has puffed up from the friction of the towel. The bags under his eyes are deeper than usual, he notices. Their presence is almost tangible; it feels like if they grow any more they’ll drag his eyeballs way down to his chin, avalanche them right out of his skull. He turns very deliberately away, wraps the towel around himself, and goes to get dressed.</p><p>Gintoki doesn’t want to cry now, and so he doesn’t. It would be weird to cry while you’re having breakfast with your employees/younger siblings/whatever the hell he and Shinpachi and Kagura are supposed to be/etc. It would be weird, and sudden, and startling, entirely out of place and not in any kind of a good way; yeah, sure, the gorilla mangaka could probably find a way to make a joke out of it, and then Kagura would make a cuttingly accurate, rude comment, and Shinpachi would yell, and everything would turn out okay, but Gintoki doesn’t want to take that kind of chance. He’s only reckless with his own well-being, thank you very much.</p><p>So he keeps his head as low as he can reasonably get away with, thanks God or his hairdresser or his genetics or whatever for his long bangs and thick curls, and cracks an egg over his bowl of rice, dousing it aggressively with soy sauce. He avoids looking at his children (they’re.. not his children, though, are they? No, definitely not- but- <em>stop </em>it- Could they ever be?) and eats his rice as slow as he can, hoping the voracious Kagura and the regular Shinpachi will finish before he does.</p><p>They do, though it takes a few minutes, and he breathes a watery sigh of relief into his gradually emptying bowl while Shinpachi clears his and Kagura’s dishes; her bright red hair makes its way over to Sadaharu and begins giving him his customary 7 bags of dog food. Why, out of all of the people in the universe, <em>he</em> ended up with the most gluttonous girl and the largest dog, he’ll never understand. Kagura and Sadaharu might as well just eat the money from Yorozuya jobs, he thinks – that would at least save him a trip to the store.</p><p>Shinpachi walks around to sit across from Gintoki, and shoots him a weird look. He asks suspiciously, “Do you have a hangover or something, Gin-san? Why are you taking so long to eat?”</p><p>Gintoki chews another grain of rice very, <em>very</em> thoroughly, then swallows. “Oi, don’t blame Gin-san for savoring his food. I'll have you know this is an ancient technique guaranteed to make even the cheapest of meals more enjoyable.”</p><p>“Right, right.. It’s just.. That’s a little much, even for savoring it, don’t you think?”</p><p>“You only say that because you already ate yours and you’re jealous that you don’t have any anymore.”</p><p>“I’m not!! What kind of convoluted reasoning is that?! Why would I be jealous of your leftover rice?!”</p><p>The sound of dog food hitting the bottom of the bowl stops, and Kagura’s looming presence appears behind Gintoki. She pushes his head down and peers over it, into the bowl of rice.</p><p>“Oi, why does Gin-chan still have egg on rice and I don’t, huh?”</p><p>“Oh my god!! He was right!!”</p><p>Gintoki abandons his half-finished breakfast and leaves them to their scuffle, Shinpachi trying futily to wrestle the bowl from Kagura’s powerful hands - which, <em>really; </em>does he legitimately think he stands a chance against her? Why's he fighting over a half-eaten, cold bowl of rice, anyway? Is he actually jealous of Gintoki's leftover rice? What could he possibly gain from this situation? Why's Gintoki the one making the straight man comments?</p><p>He walks over to the bathroom, goes in and closes the door, shutting his eyes tightly. The sounds of the fighting are softened, slightly, through the thin walls.</p><p>He doesn’t know why he starts crying, again. It’s a terrible, pointless time to cry.</p><p>Aren’t tears just water? he asks himself. Do they have to come with an emotion? Maybe I just drank too much strawberry milk yesterday. Maybe I’m so nervous for the job we’ve got this morning that the sweat is coming out of my eyes. Maybe.. Maybe I’m actually <em>laughing</em> inside, at something really damn funny, and that’s why this is happening. His stomach folds tightly into itself, his eyes feel stuck wide open. They sting, when he wipes them off on the sleeve of his shirt. The material is kind of cheap, and scratchy, and it doesn’t really absorb things all that well - Gintoki keeps wiping anyway, though it leaves his eyelids feeling raw and sore.</p><p>He’s in there for a couple of minutes, trying to wash away the color in his cheeks, trying to slow his breathing and the pounding of his heart back down to something normal, when Kagura hammers at the door - it seems she won, and has consumed the rest of his rice.</p><p>“Oi, Gin-chan, I need to pee, uh-huh! Get out!”</p><p>Gintoki wills the stutter out of his voice. “I’m taking a dump, brat, give me a minute.”</p><p>Kagura considers kicking the door down, but, since she <em>did</em> eat his rice, decides to be polite. “One minute, yep! Don’t forget to wipe!” Her small footsteps follow her back to the other room.</p><p>“Stupid kid,” he mumbles.</p><p>He splashes his face with water one more time, dries it off, and fluffs his bangs out so they cover more of his eyes. He takes one more breath in, holds it until his face is red, then lets it out with a shudder. His hands are shaky when he brings them up to his eyes. Kagura yells, “Time’s up, perm boy!” and he jumps, quickly flushes the toilet and slams the door open before she can, edging around her in the doorway as she barrels inside.</p><p>Shinpachi’s washing up in the kitchen, and Gintoki avoids him too, sitting down on one of the couches and opening up an old copy of Shonen JUMP. He checks the time; today’s client arrives in 5 minutes.</p><p>Gintoki looks at N*ruto springing across the page, flips to where L*ffy grins like a maniac and claps Z*ro and N*mi on the back. His breathing has slowed down a little bit, now. That’s good, he thinks. He turns a couple more. L*ffy leaps into action and G*m-G*m G*tlings the bad guy in the face, knocking him out in one hit. He’s smiling again, in the next panel.</p><p>The JUMP makes a loud thudding noise when he snaps it shut and throws it back on the table. He hears Shinpachi tunelessly hum Otsuu-chan from the kitchen, hears the bathroom door being thrown open, Kagura bursting out of it and flinging herself, face-down, onto the couch across from him. His heart starts to slow its relentless, thundering pace. He puts his arm over the back of the couch, adjusts his bangs again when he reaches up to pick his nose. The tears have stopped forming in his eyes, now. That’s better, he thinks.</p><p>Today’s client arrives soon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i need to write more happy gintoki</p></blockquote></div></div>
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